Constance Cortnoy has never been the friendliest of types. A bit of a scowler, now and then. Smiling just doesn't seem to come naturally to Constance, though I have seen her try, on occasion. Now the poor thing may not scowl on purpose, mind you. She just has a bit of a pointy nose and smallish eyes. I've always questioned whether Constance might need glasses, as she squints quite a bit. And when she does smile, her mouth goes somewhat sideways and I think this must make her feel a bit self conscious. Maybe she doesn't smile much on purpose. What a pity, she'd seem a much happier, friendlier sort if she smiled and laughed a bit more.
I remember back in the sorority, during rush they'd have Constance stand in the back row, behind a few much taller girls. Some of the sisters claimed that Constance scared the rushees, you know, scowling at them. And that very much angered Constance. She would storm off to her room and phone her mother, demanding that her mother demand an apology. Now as a legacy, I suppose that she could do that. Constance, that is. As I remember there was an apology and Constance was promptly placed in the front row of sisters at the next party. And just as promplty she was returned to the back row for the following party. It was the scowling, you see.
Anyway, then she met Conroy who obviously found her most breathtaking. He followed her all around campus and stuck at her side during every party. I think maybe because he is somewhat smaller then Constance, he sees her face at a different angle. And you know, everything does look quite different from varying angles. Constance is probably a stunning beauty when you look up at her from under her chin.
I'm sure you can immagine how the girls back in school would laugh and tell Constance that if she married Conroy she wouldn't even have to change her monograms. And that is actually quite true. Two C's and two C's. For someone like Constance, monograms are very important. She monorgrammed almost everything she owned; her bermuda bag, her towels, her sheets, her hair clips, her luggage. I personally like Dragon Fly's, but monograms are good, too. Very practical.
Now the point here, though, is that Constance doesn't tend to smile very much. Or talk to me, much. Unless she completely has to. So you can understand how taken by surprise I was when she charged across the road as if she were chasing her hat, but instead bound up to me in quite a friendly manner just to say hello. I told Isabel later in the day that I was almost speechless. Well, she said "hello", and then I said "Hello". Asked about Conroy, she asked after Charlie.
It became quite clear to me soon enough into our chat that Constance had an ulterior motive for seeking me out as she did.
"I understand you've been shopping at Lindsey's", she was quick to bring up. And I said that "yes", I had been to Lindsey's Hat Shoppe recently. The tailgates, of course. We both paused. She bit her thin lip, but I held onto a good old fashioned poker face and refused to utter another word. I knew exactly what she was up to.
"Find anything nice?" she finally asked in her shrill little voice.
"Why yes," I said, and left it at that. I did find many nice things, afterall. Lindsey has a fabulous selection - and they're all custom made by Lindsey, you know. I did not, though, buy my hat at Lindsey's. Constance continued to chew on the inside of her mouth, and hummed a bit before saying, "I don't think I'll buy my hat from Lindsey this year. She's gotten a bit boring, I think."
I smiled. "Lovely hats, though." I responded.
Constance nodded in agreement and then asked, "What color is yours?"
"Well", I told her, "my hat has so many colors, I don't know where I'd begin".
I was so thrilled with my performance that I ran straight over to Isabel's to tell her just how smug I'd managed to be and not let on a word about my hat. In fact, I completely forgot to stop by the Second Hand store. I wanted to get Betsy a pretty set of cat bowls for her new furry friend. Betsy and Mr. Marmalaid have been getting along just fine, and it seemed time for some permanent china for the new family member. And wouldn't you know, I was all but a block away from the Second Hand when Constance found me, and then only to turn and head back in the opposite direction. Oh well, another day.
At least I remembered to stop off at The Weekly to pick up this week's advice letters.
Dear Veronica,
My wife suspects I'm having an affair with a young, attractive woman who I was about to hire. To shut my wife up, I hired a complete idiot instead of this hot number I could have had. Now this idiot is ruining my business and driving me nuts.
Going Mad
Dear Mad,
Well it sounds as if you didn't actually have an affair, you only wanted to have an affair. I supposed many men want to have an affair, but then I suppose so do many women. So don't be mad.
Veronica
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