Iggy Braithwait should have been enjoying some much needed time in the deserved lime light, but she wasn't having any of it. Quite the contrary, she spent a good deal of effort denying any part of it. Well, Isabel was quite right, I think, saying that Iggy's problem was in getting beyond the discovery that she'd been shopping at The Second Hand store. Really no way around it, of course. After all, it's not as if Babson Hurley's necklace was in the front window. It was clearly resting smack in the center of the inside display case, and Iggy most certainly had inserted her entire self into the store to be able to spot it. The necklace, that is. Naturally, a nice piece like that would be in a special setting. Poor Mr. Heung, nice sweet man that he is. He was quite besides himself knowing that one of the lifted items ended up in hs store. He asked me to come with him in taking the necklace over to the Hurley's house. And I would have gone, too, but the Police were absolutely unreasonable insisting that it, the necklace that is, was evidence and needed to stay with them. Babson made a very nice point to send Mr. Heung a thank you note and from what I could gather they made plans for coffee next week. Of course, I learned this from Mr. Heung and I'm not entirely certain if that is their plan. Could be they're on for a game of paddle tennis. Doesn't speak English, Mr. Heung. But he is so good at acting things out.
But back to Iggy. I had all good intent to chat with her about the goings on at The Second Hand, but she never did show up for our Women's Club meeting yesterday. Isabel says that she, Iggy that is, is laying short. Or down. Something to do with her keeping out of our eyesight. Now I do think she should just show off her finds at The Second Hand, put a quick stop to some of the snickering going on with some of the women. After all, The Second Hand is a marvelous place to find gems and treasures.
In fact, it was just yesterday, at our meeting, that I was quite proud to stand and show off the Royal Albert tea cups I'd found there last summer and I said so, too. That is, I said that I found the tea cups at The Second Hand and now I'm donating them as part of our tea cup drive. Well, that's when I had my idea. Just as I was about to take some applause I had my idea, gave a nod to Isabel and skooted out the door and on over to Iggy's.
Well, we were a bit out of breath, the two of us, me mostly for having to chase Iggy round to her back yard before she gave up and agreed to speak to me. Iggy was breathless because she admitted she'd been dodging quite a few of the women. Silly really. She's always been a stunner, Iggy has, what with those green eyes and porceline skin. But, poor thing says she's taken to The Second Hand since putting on a few pounds these past few years. Says she finds the things in Mr. Heung's little store are a bit roomier. And she is quite correct. Mr. Heung's English is not all that and he tends to put "size 8" on most all of the Ladies merchandise. I found that interesting myself when several items were just swimming on me and I'm absolutely certain I've not been dieting. Now we do get on well together, Mr. Heung and I. Naturally he confided in me that "8" is the only English number he knows how to write. Or possibly what he meant to convey was that size doesn't matter. He is a very insightful man, you know.
But the point here is that I had a plan, a good one, too, on how to salvage poor Iggy's fragile reputation with the other ladies. After all, I found such a smart set of tea cups at The Second Hand, it seems quite reasonable that Iggy would also find a nice set of tea cups. And that is what is important at the moment. Tea cups. We are, after all, right in the middle of our spring Tea Cup drive at the club. It's no small wonder that Iggy has become an absolute fan of my advice column, now that she is convinced that I am brilliant. Of course, we still had to visit The Second Hand to actually find some more tea cups. And that is how we realized that Iggy may just have started a trend amongst our women's club. We were on our way to The Second Hand when we saw Constance Cortnoy leaving the store.
"I bet she's stocking up on silver wear for her tailgate party," Iggy breathed in shock, realizing that Constance's tailgate party may be second hand, too. As for me, I'm not concerned where someone acquires their finer goods. I was finally going to get a nice set of food and water bowls for Betsy Perkins and her Mr. Marmalade.
But I didn't dilly dally long, not when Iggy reminded me that I had more advice to give.
Dear Veronica,
I have a friend who will do almost anything to get attention. It drives me nuts. Just because the burglar broke into my house and took a set of Vera Wang china from my house, she had to go and have the burglar brake into her house, too. Only, there's not much to take of any value, she has no nice jewelry and her china is all chipped. So she went and got herself even more attention then me because the burglar actually left her a nice diamond tennis bracelet that he'd lifted from another house.
No China
Dear China,
He really is a nice man, that burglar. I think he may have given my friend a cat.
Veronica
Showing posts with label second hand store. Show all posts
Showing posts with label second hand store. Show all posts
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Friday, April 3, 2009
HEARD IT SECOND HAND
The thing about second hands is that you've got to be the right sort to appreciate them. So many people look down on things just because someone else has had them first. Or maybe because they're not entirely new. But then what would that say about Charlie? He's no spring chicken and I think he's absolutely priceless. Not that Charlie has been had by someone else, I certainly think that he has not. But that is really not the direction I was going here.
Isabel says that she and I can appreciate a good second hand something because we are comfortable in our own skin and we enjoy the hunt. Isabel is so good with words, really, she should be penning the advice column, absolutely. And her advice is always spot on, you know. I would never think to compare being comfortable with enjoying a good browse thru a garage sale or trip to the Second Hand store. But I do. Enjoy the garage sales and Second Hand store, that is. And I've found some lovely things, too. Why just last summer I picked up a set of 6 Royal Albert tea cups, with saucers, at the Second Hand store. And what a good thing I did because my Women's Club is holding a tea cup drive at the moment, and now I have 6 tea cups already without even having to dip into my good china.
But it was really not the tea cups that day, but a nice gift for Betsy Perkins and her cat, Mr. Marmalade, that prompted me to head out again to the Second Hand store over on West Avenue. A very nice Korean man owns the shop. And though he doesn't speak but a lick of English, we manage to get on with one another quite well. Sometimes, if I'm looking for something in particular and don't see it on display, I'll act out what I'm looking for. Oh Mr. Hueng loves this. He, that's the Second Hand's owner, oh he'll laugh and then he'll act out his answer. Quite amusing, I think, to other customers. But we do enjoy our exchanges. So that day I was all prepared to act out the part of a cat, Mr. Marmalade to be exact. I even practiced round my garden. But there would be no shopping for kitty china once I popped in and found the Officers there.
When I arrived, Captain Leighton and another officer that I don't know where already in the Second Hand in the middle of a conversation with Mr. Heung. Well you can imagine how difficult the discussion was, what with Captain Leighton wanting specific details and poor Mr. Heung trying to act out something that even I couldn't quite understand. He waived frantically, Mr. Heung that is, when he saw me enter. "Missa Toonup" he yelled, and that would be me, except that Mr. Heung pronounces my last name 'Toonup' instead of Turnip. And Missus he pronounces 'Missa'. Not to worry, though, because I know exactly what he is saying so I went straight over to the officer's and offered to help.
Oh well, they said, official police business, privileged and top secret things and what not. But I said to them, they'll get no where fast with Mr. Heung the way they're going about it and it's best to accept a bit of favor when favor is offered. "Missa Toonup", Mr. Heung pointed at me nodding his head yes furiously, trying his utmost to convey to the officers that I could, indeed, be of assistance.
Now it seems that someone found a necklace belonging to Babson Hurley in the Second Hand. It was a lovely, turquoise piece made by Diane Schratweiser personally. I remember when Babson got the necklace, it was at an event held by our Women's club and Diane Schratweiser had a jewelry showing there and we all fought over that particular piece. Well, naturally Babson was able to out big us all and then wore it, the necklace that is, when ever she felt like showing off. Just as well, though, it was for charity and all that. So I did indeed recognize the necklace, sitting right there in the front of the display case. Why, had I arrived before the officers I would have recognized it straight off. But apparently, Iggy Braithwaite had been in before me and alerted Captain Leighton. "Babs would never hawk her Diane Schratweiser," Iggy is supposed to have said. Which is absolutely true, but more intriguing is that Iggy Braithwaite was shopping in the Second Hand. Mind you, I'm a tremendous fan of the Second Hand, but I'm quite upfront about that, too. Iggy, on the other hand, maintains a certain air of Retail Snobbery that forbids shopping the Second Hand, and I dare say she would faint at the thought of a garage sale. Yes, the Second Hand and garage sales are Isabel and my territory. I'm sure that Isabel would have something brilliant to say about Iggy's being in the Second Hand.
But the point here is that Babson Hurley's Diane Schratweiser turquoise necklace has ended up in the Second Hand without Babson's permission. And what's more, the police were quite positive that this exact same piece is one that had been lifted by The Burglar just a few weeks ago from the Hurley's home. Well, naturally, they wanted a bit of an explanation from Mr. Heung. The officers, that is. Not the Hurleys. I did my best to convey the situation to Mr. Heung.
I pretended to crawl thru a window and tip toe through the store, pretended to look to my right and left and then nick a piece of jewelry into my bag and tip toe away. Well, Mr. Heung does do well at this and in no time he was pointing at me and shouting out, he does shout quite a bit, "Boiler! Boiler! Yes! Boiler!". I returned what I'd pretended to nick and got down to my job of translating. I picked up the necklace and pretended to enter the store and pretend to sell it to Mr. Heung. He got that pretty well and I think he understood enough to begin giving the police quite a good description of the person who sold him the necklace.
I was very impressed with Mr. Heung, but I'm quite disappointed in Captain Leighton's response. "A white male, you think, taller than five feet two inches and had some sort of hair, maybe." Captain Leighton and the other officer kept shaking their heads in that frazzled, disappointed way that Mr. Petigrew tends to do. Well, I thought that they'd made quite a bit of progress, I told them. Narrowing things down, the way they had.
"Mrs. Turnip," Captain Leighton sighed, "you've been very helpful, but since 98% of this town is white, we really haven't narrowed it down much at all". Ah but, I reminded them, only half of the town is male, so now the field has been narrowed to 48%. And with that, I once again forgot to pick out a nice set of china for Betsy and Mr. Marmalade, just so excited I was to run straight over to The Weekly.
Mr. Petigrew was absolutely astounded when I told him that I'd just assisted the police with an interrogation. "Why you?" he kept asking, scratching that shiny head of his. Well, I explained, they had no choice, "Mr. Heung doesn't speak English!". Once again, Mr. Petigrew mumbled something about how he really should have taken a look at my qualifications earlier and actually, how funny he is, said he had no idea that I speak Korean. "I don't speak Korean at all!" I laughed. Just as well, he, Mr. Petigrew that is, was able to run a nice big headline saying "Police Narrow Search for Burglar To All White Male's over 5 ft 2 inches".
Mr. Petigrew even managed some sort of smile this week when I turned in my column.
Dear Veronica,
My neighbor seems to have found my golf clubs in his house. Says he found them one morning sitting by a broken window. I absolutely had no part in leaving them there, or even taking them there in the first place. He claims he didn't take them, and went further than that by saying he wouldn't have them even as a gift.
Four
Dear Four,
People do find the oddest things in their houses, especially atics. I once found a box full of old Barbie dolls, most with their hair cut off. Anyway, I think a nice thank you note would have been more appropriate on your neighbor's part. Still, you can't very well take them back now that you've given them, despite the ungracious attitude.
Veronica
Isabel says that she and I can appreciate a good second hand something because we are comfortable in our own skin and we enjoy the hunt. Isabel is so good with words, really, she should be penning the advice column, absolutely. And her advice is always spot on, you know. I would never think to compare being comfortable with enjoying a good browse thru a garage sale or trip to the Second Hand store. But I do. Enjoy the garage sales and Second Hand store, that is. And I've found some lovely things, too. Why just last summer I picked up a set of 6 Royal Albert tea cups, with saucers, at the Second Hand store. And what a good thing I did because my Women's Club is holding a tea cup drive at the moment, and now I have 6 tea cups already without even having to dip into my good china.
But it was really not the tea cups that day, but a nice gift for Betsy Perkins and her cat, Mr. Marmalade, that prompted me to head out again to the Second Hand store over on West Avenue. A very nice Korean man owns the shop. And though he doesn't speak but a lick of English, we manage to get on with one another quite well. Sometimes, if I'm looking for something in particular and don't see it on display, I'll act out what I'm looking for. Oh Mr. Hueng loves this. He, that's the Second Hand's owner, oh he'll laugh and then he'll act out his answer. Quite amusing, I think, to other customers. But we do enjoy our exchanges. So that day I was all prepared to act out the part of a cat, Mr. Marmalade to be exact. I even practiced round my garden. But there would be no shopping for kitty china once I popped in and found the Officers there.
When I arrived, Captain Leighton and another officer that I don't know where already in the Second Hand in the middle of a conversation with Mr. Heung. Well you can imagine how difficult the discussion was, what with Captain Leighton wanting specific details and poor Mr. Heung trying to act out something that even I couldn't quite understand. He waived frantically, Mr. Heung that is, when he saw me enter. "Missa Toonup" he yelled, and that would be me, except that Mr. Heung pronounces my last name 'Toonup' instead of Turnip. And Missus he pronounces 'Missa'. Not to worry, though, because I know exactly what he is saying so I went straight over to the officer's and offered to help.
Oh well, they said, official police business, privileged and top secret things and what not. But I said to them, they'll get no where fast with Mr. Heung the way they're going about it and it's best to accept a bit of favor when favor is offered. "Missa Toonup", Mr. Heung pointed at me nodding his head yes furiously, trying his utmost to convey to the officers that I could, indeed, be of assistance.
Now it seems that someone found a necklace belonging to Babson Hurley in the Second Hand. It was a lovely, turquoise piece made by Diane Schratweiser personally. I remember when Babson got the necklace, it was at an event held by our Women's club and Diane Schratweiser had a jewelry showing there and we all fought over that particular piece. Well, naturally Babson was able to out big us all and then wore it, the necklace that is, when ever she felt like showing off. Just as well, though, it was for charity and all that. So I did indeed recognize the necklace, sitting right there in the front of the display case. Why, had I arrived before the officers I would have recognized it straight off. But apparently, Iggy Braithwaite had been in before me and alerted Captain Leighton. "Babs would never hawk her Diane Schratweiser," Iggy is supposed to have said. Which is absolutely true, but more intriguing is that Iggy Braithwaite was shopping in the Second Hand. Mind you, I'm a tremendous fan of the Second Hand, but I'm quite upfront about that, too. Iggy, on the other hand, maintains a certain air of Retail Snobbery that forbids shopping the Second Hand, and I dare say she would faint at the thought of a garage sale. Yes, the Second Hand and garage sales are Isabel and my territory. I'm sure that Isabel would have something brilliant to say about Iggy's being in the Second Hand.
But the point here is that Babson Hurley's Diane Schratweiser turquoise necklace has ended up in the Second Hand without Babson's permission. And what's more, the police were quite positive that this exact same piece is one that had been lifted by The Burglar just a few weeks ago from the Hurley's home. Well, naturally, they wanted a bit of an explanation from Mr. Heung. The officers, that is. Not the Hurleys. I did my best to convey the situation to Mr. Heung.
I pretended to crawl thru a window and tip toe through the store, pretended to look to my right and left and then nick a piece of jewelry into my bag and tip toe away. Well, Mr. Heung does do well at this and in no time he was pointing at me and shouting out, he does shout quite a bit, "Boiler! Boiler! Yes! Boiler!". I returned what I'd pretended to nick and got down to my job of translating. I picked up the necklace and pretended to enter the store and pretend to sell it to Mr. Heung. He got that pretty well and I think he understood enough to begin giving the police quite a good description of the person who sold him the necklace.
I was very impressed with Mr. Heung, but I'm quite disappointed in Captain Leighton's response. "A white male, you think, taller than five feet two inches and had some sort of hair, maybe." Captain Leighton and the other officer kept shaking their heads in that frazzled, disappointed way that Mr. Petigrew tends to do. Well, I thought that they'd made quite a bit of progress, I told them. Narrowing things down, the way they had.
"Mrs. Turnip," Captain Leighton sighed, "you've been very helpful, but since 98% of this town is white, we really haven't narrowed it down much at all". Ah but, I reminded them, only half of the town is male, so now the field has been narrowed to 48%. And with that, I once again forgot to pick out a nice set of china for Betsy and Mr. Marmalade, just so excited I was to run straight over to The Weekly.
Mr. Petigrew was absolutely astounded when I told him that I'd just assisted the police with an interrogation. "Why you?" he kept asking, scratching that shiny head of his. Well, I explained, they had no choice, "Mr. Heung doesn't speak English!". Once again, Mr. Petigrew mumbled something about how he really should have taken a look at my qualifications earlier and actually, how funny he is, said he had no idea that I speak Korean. "I don't speak Korean at all!" I laughed. Just as well, he, Mr. Petigrew that is, was able to run a nice big headline saying "Police Narrow Search for Burglar To All White Male's over 5 ft 2 inches".
Mr. Petigrew even managed some sort of smile this week when I turned in my column.
Dear Veronica,
My neighbor seems to have found my golf clubs in his house. Says he found them one morning sitting by a broken window. I absolutely had no part in leaving them there, or even taking them there in the first place. He claims he didn't take them, and went further than that by saying he wouldn't have them even as a gift.
Four
Dear Four,
People do find the oddest things in their houses, especially atics. I once found a box full of old Barbie dolls, most with their hair cut off. Anyway, I think a nice thank you note would have been more appropriate on your neighbor's part. Still, you can't very well take them back now that you've given them, despite the ungracious attitude.
Veronica
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